To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
