Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
