porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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