this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
