I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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