You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
