Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
