Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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