Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
