Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
