I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
