rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
