So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
