Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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