My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
