He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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