With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
