If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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