I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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