So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
