did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize