I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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