i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize