why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
