Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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