I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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