everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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