Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
