Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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