everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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