You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize