Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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