i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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