If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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