I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
