it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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