awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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