I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
