I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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