is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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