Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
