All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
