Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
