this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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