dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
