u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
