Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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