i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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