just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
