I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
