Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize