I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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