dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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