My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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