My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
