I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
