she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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