You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
