He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize