FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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