were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize